Five years of being her "Mamita"

Almost exactly five years ago (+ 2 days 😁) Kalyani Alba, my first-born daughter, was delivered into this world; some would say I "officially became a mother". 😄 💖 🌈👶🏻 ➡️ 👧🏻 

It was a hectic afternoon and a hectic couple of days after, until we came home from the hospital and I've been high in love ever since. Being in postpartum again right now brings me back so much!

I was terrified I wasn't ready to be a mother, of the circumstances of doing it by myself as a single parent, and basically of-everything-and-all-at-once, like it tends to happen when one is processing post-partum depression plus complex ptsd, as I have, both times... I got shocked by how much I love her. I didn't know that with birthing her, I'd be birthing a new "biggest fear" for life, and that is that anything "bad" would happen to her. My mom answered saying "Welcome to motherhood. That feeling doesn't ever go away"... O.O WHAT did I get myself into?!

But the universe works in perfect harmony and I'm a hardcore believer that life brings us right what we can handle so as to evolve. I can speak for it and that keeps me going.

She's been the "easiest" baby and toddler I could ever fathom, so much she unawarely forged in me the belief that babies crying often was actually a myth meant to scare people from procreating 😅...

From her natural love of vegetables and dislike of unhealthy food to her waking up always in-between smiles; and watching this last phenomenon, so wonderful, has been the biggest beauty of my life and a lifesaver after a very difficult time, so it became one of my top life missions that it continues to happen, forever.

Kaly's a dream come true and a bright flashlight in my journey... she shows me the way.

She's not a baby or a toddler anymore 🥲 she's had another major growth spurt lately. This wonderful being is now the coolest kid I've ever met and, the fact that so many people say the same thing about her every-single-day makes me smile. She's so loved and I can't stop feeling grateful. She is just who she is, in whatever character(s+)/costume she's choosen for the day, so clear in her preferences and choices, so open in her expression and so honest, so free 🤍... She keeps me accountable and on my toes, pursuing goal after goal. I guess that's the magic children have: they make you always want to be your best, to keep improving, to make your dreams come true, and all for them. The realest flex 😂

She loves to make up songs and sing and dance a lot, and she had stopped doing it much for a year (it's been a very eventful one for her), so today I'm celebrating that she's starting to do it again.

The adventure that started when she was 2 months old with her sweet voice making expressive coos, has continued to develop into fluent conversations in both English and Spanish, and keeps me sharp, wrapped in her questions about other languages, being her favorites: Italian, Quechua, Dutch and Japanese.

In between songs she learned how to read around her 2 years and 9 months mark and now reading (to herself, her sister and to others) has become one of her favorite activities.

Her curious mind fills me with sweetness. At the beginning I didn't know how to handle her obsession with numbers much, but it's just one more thing that amazes me about her.

And, as you all know, her most remarkable and loveliest trait probably is how social and friendly she is. As her mom, she's forced me into a visibility I'm not used to, and it's been my biggest growth experience as a person: Kaly's taught me the power of remembering *every* person's name and showing genuinely interest in people with questions and sharing stories. 

Since she was 18 months, I haven't had to order in restaurants or even call the waiters for anything, because she loves to do it herself and is great at it. It's awesome to walk around with her and have so many people greeting her wherever we go... The only girl her age I've seen (thats is not a celebrity) walking around and just waving to people around, literally yelling "HI GUUUUUYS, HI EVERYONE, HOLA A TODOOOOOOS!!!"

She's a natural director and loves to organize people around her for everyone to have fun, because her biggest pleasures are to play and to make people laugh.

I've lost the count of the times people have met me after meeting or even hearing about her and saying "Oh, so YOU are Kaly's mom!" and then shower me with praising words about her.

Wow. I could go on forever about this lady! 😅 but I won't (don't worry).

I will forever love her, protect her, thank her, bless her... and be grateful I am her mother ❤️😍

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Thank you, my Kalyani Alba, my blessed and beautiful goddess, my baby 🤱🏻... I am excited about the wonderful woman you already are, who you'll become and what you'll create with your life.

I love being your mommy, mio amore!

🌞🌈 Happy Birthday!!! 🎊🪅🎂

(Mamma's dreaming about you reading this entry when you're older 🤭)

❤️🧡💛💚💙